Welcome to the fifth of our six part series that tries to answer the question - why do we procrastinate? In this part I will be discussing self sabotage, how you do it, why you do it - and how it manifests.
Assessment: Get in the Way vs. Get What You Want.
Rank yourself 1 to 10 on the following statements:
“Practically every appointment I have, every class I take . . . I’m always late (or every now and then I just completely flake out and forget an appointment).”
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 That’s not me That’s so me!
“It’s important to me that people know that I’m smart. Usually, I try to cover up that ‘need for their approval’ with sarcastic humor.”
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 That’s not me That’s so me!
“Between the ages of 3 and 5, my parents were super-strict or super-permissive with me.”
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 That’s not me That’s so me!
“I’m not a fan of authority figures (cops, people who honk at me, know-it-alls, etc). And when I say ‘not a fan,’ I mean those people suck.”
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 That’s not me That’s so me!
“Most of the time, people don’t really understand me . . I’m just different, which is fine.”
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 That’s not me That’s so me!
**Average Score: _______**
Do these questions have you feeling as angsty as I do? Blech. If you’ve been sabotaging yourself, then I know how you feel. Big culprit myself, on this one. Go ahead and average up your scores, then read on...
I’m a passive-aggressive jerk... how about you?
Many of us who got stuck in procrastination as a form of self-sabotage can be real punks some times. Or worse, we can be passive-aggressive punks!
I mean seriously... how many times can we see a successful person in real life or on TV and say (or think), “Hey man, you’re no better than I am! Who do you think you are?!” and then in the next week have 20 or 30 situations that have us thinking, “How come that jerk has so much (money, success, luck in relationships, etc.)? What am I missing?”
So what is it?
- Is it that all the people who are succeeding are a bunch of jerks, and the fact that you’re not succeeding is because you’re too nice?
- Or is it that you should be succeeding, even being nice, but that you’re missing something?
The answer is, “neither,” because the problem is the question. It’s a false choice.
- “Being nice” is a form of being right.
- “Being more moral than that successful jerk” is a form of being right.
- Feeling like you’re “missing something” implies a belief that there’s a right way, and that you want to “do it right.”
- Gossiping about your boss’s mistakes, and asking your co-workers how such an idiot ever got so far in the company, is a way of showing that you’re right.
But none of these things are helping you get your stuff done.
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
- Get out there and start building your dreams!
- Start pitching your ideas to people!
- Start a social movement for change!
- Create teamwork!
- Crank out some massive productivity and generate momentum, and be massively successful (just watch out for the voice that says, “and being massively successful will show those bastards I was right all along”... that voice is another falsehood, because “those bastards” don’t care, and they’ve never heard of you).
- Do it for YOU!! Do it because it makes you happy!
Get happy! Get in motion! Just do it! (the next article of these articles will help - or get started with hypnosis for self sabotage right now).
Article 5 Re-cap.
Being a passive-aggressive punk who points out the faults in others and reminds everybody that successful people are jerks just doesn’t seem to be working out for us.
Let’s all step down off our high horses, realize that we’re all equally worthy and equally endowed with specific talents, and let’s crank up the courage to go kick some ass.
View all the other parts of this six part procrastination series:
Part 1: Why do we procastrinate.
Part 2: Low self esteem and lack of confidence.
Part 4: Fear of success and of the unknown.
Part 5: Self sabotage: you are here now.